Saddam Tastes Swift Jab of Justice

Former Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was attacked by an unidentified man after questioning by the Iraqi special tribunal on Thursday, his lawyers say.

I can only assume the "unidentified man" was Donald Rumsfeld, and that the following harsh verbal exchange took place during the skirmish:

Rumsfeld: Jerk!
Hussein: Liar!
R: You're the liar!
H: Nuh-uh! You are!
R: Takes one to know one!
H: You said I'd always be president!
R: You said you'd keep the killing to a minimum!
H: Did not!
R: Did so!
H: Tell me Donny, do you sleep in bed with George every night, or curled up on the floor next to his bed?
R: I sleep in bed with your mom... who's a Kurd!
H: I'ma beat you good!
R: Bring it on!
H: Hey! Get your hands off me, guard! He started it!
R: Don't touch me! I'm an American!
H: Hey, Donny, gimme a call, okay? We'll talk this over!

Finally, in a shrewd legal move sure to win major points with the judge, Saddam's lawyers have given the former despot a pair of black thick-framed glasses to wear at the trial. Nothing says, "I swear, I didn't gas any Kurds or break countless international laws!" like a slick new haircut and big nerd specs: