Bush, the Left, both blamed for mice infected with bubonic plague

It was reported recently that, "Three mice infected with the bacteria responsible for bubonic plague apparently disappeared from a laboratory about two weeks ago." And though, "health experts said there was scant public risk," that didn't stop fingers from being pointed in every direction. Most distinctly, the fingers have been pointed to the left and the right.

A small group of liberals, lead by Michael Moore, immediately released a statement that accused President George W. Bush of, "creating an environment in which a tragedy like this is likely to occur." Moore speculated that the only reason the mice had been infected with the plague was that the scientists were performing biological warfare tests for the Pentagon. "If not for Bush's hardline military stances," he said, "we wouldn't have plague-ridden mice running around in the first place. At the least, these mice would have good jobs if it weren't for Bush's obscene and unnecessary tax cuts for the rich."

President Bush could not be reached for comment, but press secretary Scott McClellan said, "I can assure you that President Bush has not heard about this story yet."

Meanwhile, blue-collared and red-stated Americans across the heartland could be heard clammering over a rumor that the mice actually escaped as a result of the vast left-wing conspiracy. Ann Coulter remarked in a column that, "We will see no end to the infestation of bubonic-plague-ridden mice in America until the Left ends its soft policies on crime that continue to allow the release of such vile criminals."

When asked to comment, Rupert Murdoch said, "...Yeah."