iPod nano may be going too far, some say

The new iPod nano is a marvel of technology; no one has yet to doubt this. But some groups, including some Christian fundamentalists and conservative ethicists, argue that Apple Computer, the designer of the mobile music device, has begun to push the ethical boundaries. One activist said in a recent interview that, "Advancements in technology are great, but we need to start asking ourselves: have we gone too far?" She asked, "When we put 1,000 songs on a device the size of a credit card with a color LCD display... aren't we really playing God? Or just really good music?"

Amid mild public pressure, President Bush and his administration have decided to assign a panel of "bio-ethical" experts to "look into" the gently simmering ethical crisis. Bush held a press conference recently, at which he made the following statement: "I have not yet seen the iPod nanoo [sic], but I have arranged a bi-partisan commission to look hard at the details and I am looking forward to discussing it with them. America has never been a nation willing to willfully play God and tamper with life, and if this new device from [Apple CEO] Mr. [Steve] Jobs truly does weigh only 1.5 ounces while holding up to 25,000 photos, then clearly the boundaries of bio-ethicity [sic] may have been pushed too far, and I intend to look at it, with my staff and the commission, very thoroughly."

Meanwhile, groups of young hipsters, armed only with their messenger bags and Rivers Cuomo glasses, have begun to form nano-rights groups to head off any potention restrictions of iPod nano production or research for future iPod models. Protests have already sprung up on college campuses nation-wide, as well as on buses and bicycles in major cities. A group at the University of Wisconsin in Madison could be heard chanting, "nano freedom now!" and "keep your God off my pod!"

Steve Jobs could not be reached for comment, but his attorney issued a statement saying, "My client has no comment at this time."