The Fable of the White House Reporterer
20 Years after Being “Born Again,” President Bush Acts Like a Christian
In a move that can only be described as pants-wettingly unexpected, President George W. Bush announced today that America will begin a true policy of nuclear nonproliferation and dismantlation. Beginning tomorrow, the Pentagon will act on a plan to peaceably destroy (i.e., sans detonation) all nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons—the trifecta commonly known as weapons of mass destruction—ever produced by the United States.
In his speech from the Oval Office, Bush put it in his own words: “We must achieve peace. And to achieve peace in this dangerous and violent world, full of people with ideologies of hate and violence, the most powerful nation in the world must set a powerful example of peace. If we are peaceful, then I believe the rest of the world will be peaceful, and I look forward to working with the rest of the world to bring peace to this world. It will be a lot of hard work, but I believe that it can be done only if we—if America—is willing to take the first steps to peace, by being peaceful, and by destroying our weapons of hate, by eliminating our weapons of mass destruction. And I look forward to talking to the leaders of other nations to discuss what they can do to help bring more peace to this world, as we intend to do.”
It is this reporter’s opinion that the guffaws produced by a fake story such as this one are indeed a sad reflection on the state of our union. Shame on you, guffaws. Shame.
On you.
Guffaws.
In a move that can only be described as pants-wettingly unexpected, President George W. Bush announced today that America will begin a true policy of nuclear nonproliferation and dismantlation. Beginning tomorrow, the Pentagon will act on a plan to peaceably destroy (i.e., sans detonation) all nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons—the trifecta commonly known as weapons of mass destruction—ever produced by the United States.
In his speech from the Oval Office, Bush put it in his own words: “We must achieve peace. And to achieve peace in this dangerous and violent world, full of people with ideologies of hate and violence, the most powerful nation in the world must set a powerful example of peace. If we are peaceful, then I believe the rest of the world will be peaceful, and I look forward to working with the rest of the world to bring peace to this world. It will be a lot of hard work, but I believe that it can be done only if we—if America—is willing to take the first steps to peace, by being peaceful, and by destroying our weapons of hate, by eliminating our weapons of mass destruction. And I look forward to talking to the leaders of other nations to discuss what they can do to help bring more peace to this world, as we intend to do.”
It is this reporter’s opinion that the guffaws produced by a fake story such as this one are indeed a sad reflection on the state of our union. Shame on you, guffaws. Shame.
On you.
Guffaws.
posted by jereminate at 3:15 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home