Barbara Bush dabbles in new "Compassion Conservation"

"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them," [Barbara] Bush told American Public Media's "Marketplace" program, before returning to her multi-million dollar Houston home. On the tape of the interview, Mrs. Bush chuckles audibly....

Political scientist Polly Psi stepped out of her lab long enough to chat with The Armchair Politician about Barbara Bush's recent comments, which can not only be described as insensitive, but also many other adjectives. Psi remarked that, "Mrs. Bush's remarks were merely the most recent example of a Republican trend known as, 'Compassion Conservation.' This philosophy replaces the old 'Compassionate Conservatism' with one that emphasizes holding back the compassion. The theory is that if too much compassion is shown, we mortal men and women may make the mistake of over-shadowing God's compassion. And that," Psi said, "ultimately makes this an issue of Christianity."

At a recent press conference, President George W. Bush was asked to comment on the comments his mother made about the poor. He staunchly defended her, saying, "Yeah? Well, John Kerry can't even catch a football."