Kanye West attacks Bush; Secretary of State miffed

On Friday, September 1, "A celebrity telethon for Hurricane Katrina survivors took an unexpected turn when outspoken rapper Kanye West went off script during the live broadcast.... He stated, 'George Bush doesn't care about black people.'" Reports from the White House indicate that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, an African-American, watched the NBC telethon. Following West's comments, she reportedly stormed immediately into the Oval Office, awoke President Bush from his daily four-hour cat nap, and demanded to know whether what the young rapper had said was true. According to some sources, President Bush at first could only blink, tremble his lip slightly, and furrow his brow as he struggled to comprehend the nature of the Secretary's question. Assuming guilt, Rice reportedly then declared, "I quit!" and left the premises. There is still no word on whether the President has received a letter of resignation from the Secretary, whom Bush may or may not have cared about.